How the Croissant was invented

The Croissant is one of the most iconic French foods of all time, along with the baggette, the snail and the frog. However, it wasn’t even made in France, or made by a French person. It was actually made in Vienna, Austria, and how and why is a very interesting story…

In 1683, the Ottoman Empire was on a roll, as they were at their max extent, controlling territory from Algeria to Iran. However, they wanted more. Meanwhile, the rest of Europe was afraid of the Ottoman dominance over the Balkans, and feared they might march into Central Europe, and threaten the Holy Roman Empire, Poland Lithuania, and Russia. Their fears were proven when 150,000 Ottoman troops invaded the HRE, and marched towards Vienna, where the Holy Roman Emperor lived. In July, the Turks surrounded the city, and began to seige Vienna. However, the Viennese tried to hold off, so the Turks decided to dig massive tunnels under Vienna, with the plan of sending troops through, breaking Viennese lines, and take the rest of Austria.

Several months into the siege, a baker was preparing his daily batches of bread, so it could supply to the Viennese people and soldiers. However, food is beginning to run out, due to the siege, and nobody knows how long it is going to last. The baker definitely has these things on his mind as he is baking the daily batch, when he heard a tinking sound. First, he didn’t mind it, but the tinking grew louder and louder. With this, the baker realized that the Turkish soldiers were digging under the bakery in a jolt of horror. Immediately, he ran outside, and called for help from Austrian soldiers, right as the Turks broke through the floor. After that, an intense gunfight began, and the Turks were pushed back, and the tunnel was sealed. After that, to commemorate the incident, the baker decided to make a bread shaped like a crescent, the symbol of the Ottomans. He proceeded to hand it to the soldiers, who devoured it.

However, while this did have a morale boost, the siege was still ongoing until September 1683. During the siege, a Christian Coalition comprising of the Holy Roman Empire, the Polish Lithuanian Commonwealth, Cossacks in Ukraine, and parts of Romania. On September the 12th, with a Calvary charge by the famed Polish Winged Hussars, the Ottomans were pushed back, the siege was broken, and Vienna was liberated. Over the centuries, the Croissant spread across Europe, where it arrived in France, who refined it and made the modern day Croissant, adding it to their cosines.

Finally, after the Battle of Vienna, the Ottomans were beginning to be pushed back out of Europe, in a 200+ year long process, turning the most feared nation in Europe since the Mongol hoards, to the sick man of Europe, founding modern Turkey in 1922.

Weird fact: Because of this story, in 2015, ISIS tried to ban Croissants, adding to their list of war crimes.

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